Short but oh so sweet...
by Ashti
Summary: Gabrielle wakes up and finds that reality may have very well gone mad. Short story. Two chappies.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING that belongs to other people. *blinks innocently* Don't sue? Pleeeeeze? This is just a little something I whipped up some night. This is part 1. There were _supposed_ to be three parts, but I could only finish two. Besides, it's funny anyway..  
  
Short, But Oh So Sweet.  
  
"What?! You don't mean that! You can't possibly be serious!" Gabrielle frowned. Was she dreaming? Or more likely, having a nightmare. That voice sounded a lot like Ares'. A shocked Ares, to be exact. "I do, and I am." That was Xena's voice, definitely. Firm, but gentle. Oh… wait. Suddenly it dawned on Gabrielle. Xena must be telling Ares to leave them alone. Of course. Gabrielle sighed into the bedroll and a little smile formed on her lips. She and Xena had been talking about that for some time now. Ares, the big bad God of War would listen to whatever Xena said and most likely do it as well so Gabrielle had talked Xena into telling him in to leaving them alone. The bard was glad her friend was so wise and mature in matters like these. Why, the Warrior Princess could even get away with telling Zeus off, so his son shouldn't be a problem. Xena always took care of everything. She snuggled deeper into the bedroll, pulling her blanket tightly around her.  
  
"I have never done this for anyone, Xena. You better appreciate this." Oh, oh. The big bad God of War didn't sound so cheery. What if he got angry? What if he was going to toast them? Worse yet, what if he toasted her? "Don't worry. I do." Xena seemed to have less control over her voice than usual, as it shook a little. But why? Was she actually sorry for making Ares go through with this? Did she regret letting him go?  
  
"Fine. But remember, you asked for this." That was Ares again, definitely not happy about this. "I know. Now get moving." She frowned. She could swear that Xena was enjoying this. But moments ago… Her mind didn't even finish that thought as a home made proverb came to mind. 'Xena does what she does, because she does it.' That, however, in no way whatsoever, told you that you would like or even understand what she was doing. Several choice words followed Xena's answer before all Tartarus broke loose and the bard sat up straight, wondering where the heck that noise was coming from. The Queen of the Amazons' hands had already found her staff and she was standing in a battle pose before she even knew what was going on.  
  
She blinked. Eyes wide, she took in the absurd scene in front of her. There, on the other side of the fire and on top of Ares, who was stomping around like there was no tomorrow, imitating what she guessed to be a horse, was Xena, snapping her whip and shouting like a little kid. "Piggyback ride! Yeehah! Go horsy!" 


	2. The Moment After

Disclaimer: Nope, they're still not mine… *sigh* Nothing is.. Well, except the story.. You did know that, didn't you? Okay, *drum sticks* PART DEUX!  
  
The Moment After  
Or  
Can you say 'Oops'?  
  
"I'm the God of War, Princess. Therefore it would be either God of Warback ride or Goddyback ride. It's all in the terminology. Please keep that in mind?" Nevertheless, he continued stomping around…  
  
Gabrielle stood there, frozen in shock as she watched both God and mortal prance around like.. like.. children. What was worse, they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Well, maybe that wasn't so bad, but the bard had never expected to see a sight like this! Xena and Ares doing a thing like that? This was just too ridiculous! She had to be dreaming. Even if she wrote it down as it was actually happening, no one would ever believe this.  
  
"Xena!" It took her a moment to realize that she had actually spoken. The fact that Ares and Xena had stopped acting like two overgrown chits and were staring at her, wide-eyed as if she was the strangest thing they'd ever seen, had been a big help in figuring that out too.  
  
The raven haired Warrior Princess mouthed a choice word before quickly dismounting the leather-clad War God, who was still wearing a look that rivaled the one on the bard's face. A nudge from Xena brought him out of it though. "I thought you said she was sleeping like the dead and wouldn't wake if the world exploded," the Warrior Princess accused the War God. "She was, until you woke her up with your shouting," Ares replied. "As if you were being so quiet." Xena huffed. "My dear, I'm a God. I can be as quiet as I want to." The War God smirked with his usual superiority. "You sure as Tartarus weren't quiet when you were acting like a horse." Xena threw back. "Neither were you." Ares answered. "But I wasn't a horse!" exclaimed the Warrior Princess. "That's besides the point." The two of them were glaring daggers at each other now, neither of them willing to take the blame or to back off. "Anyway, you're a God, couldn't you have made her sleep through it or something?" "I.." "SHUT UP!"  
  
Surprisingly, that did the trick as God and Mortal effectively shut up and the look of shock was once again firmly in place. Gabrielle looked from Xena to Ares and back again. "What... How… Why.. I mean. What were…" The bard stammered, unable to form any coherent thought let alone sentence. Suddenly, Ares waved his hand at her and she felt her eyelids get heavy. She sagged to the ground, her consciousness clouded with sleep. Before Morpheus' realm claimed her completely however, she could have sworn that she heard Ares ask in a voice so casual that it was highly doubtful that he had said it at all,  
  
"So, wanna go again?" 


End file.
